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I have always had a weak stomach.


1) My mom has dentures which have loosened over time. This can cause her to eat in an unappetizing manner. There is nothing more that the dentist can do short of getting a whole new set but my mom is 92 and doesn’t see the value in getting new dentures.


2) My mom has had bladder incontinence for many years. She does not always realize that her pad is full and she begins to smell of strong urine. Yes, she doesn’t drink enough water despite constant verbal and technical reminders.


What can I do to deal with my strong gag response to both of these situations?

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Getting her dentures that fit is the right thing to do even if she is 92.
Tell her she needs to spend the money on dentures that fit because the ones she's using now is making dining with her a disgusting experience and you know she does not want that.

At 92 a person should by that time realize they can't take it with them so they might as well buy dentures that fit or anything else they may need or want.

As for the stinking incontinence pads. They sell ones that are lavender and baking soda to help with odors. I think Poise brand puts them out.
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I would sometimes put a scarf on my neck and sprinkle essential oils on it. That really helped me with smells.
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Daley,
You are in good company.
One of the best RNs I know was weak stomached with suctioning. She would be in suctioning and gagging at the same time.
ALL RNs I know are beset by SOMETHING, and can't get through without gagging, or in my own case with dizziness and a threat to faint. My first near faint was with circumsions (Please don't ever attempt to tell me "they don't feel it). Later I noticed when my patients call out with pain I went dizzy. It never went away, but I could overcome it with breathing deep.

Try whatever works, but this is a bodily protective response and you are far from alone.
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As for the water have you thought of trying these? They are jelly-like candies with water in them and they are easy to chew jellydrops.us. You can use a diffuser or wax melter to help with smells or even an air purifer. I believe there are adult briefs that can show when moisture level has reached the max, at least I know there were infant diapers that used to have this feature. I would also consider seeing if diet can help her get some of the moisture she needs. Have you talked to someone if she can have crushed ice to help with thirst and moisture?
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I am not particularly squeamish. But when my MIL came to stay with us after being released from the hospital, wow the smell was strong! Let’s just say hygiene hadn’t been a priority for the three plus weeks she was there. She needed my help getting to and from the toilet so there was no avoiding it.

I got her some moist wipes and that plus regular showers helped a lot. She was wearing depends but they were mostly for backup as she was able to make it to the toilet usually. BMs proved a bit of a problem as she couldn’t clean herself well enough afterwards and ended up getting it all over and under her nails. After a couple times I asked her to let me clean her, it was far easier to do it myself.

I guess what I’m saying is I don’t see this getting better. Someone who is infirm and incontinent is probably not doing a good job cleaning herself, no? If it’s not something you can handle it might be time to look for another care solution.

Everyone has their limitations. This particular aspect was the least of my problems, but other parts of caregiving were much harder for me. I know I couldn’t have done it long term. It sounds like you have your hands full with your own health issues. For both your sakes, it might be time for a change.
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I found that a good size glob of Vicks Vaporub under my nose could calm my roiling stomach when I had to clean up after my LO's. And tried to go 'anywhere else' in my mind.

I have a pretty good gag response but I sure know what you mean. In all of my pregnancies, there would be certain smells that would simply make me barf, no matter what I did. Over-fried eggs being one--after 45 years I am still unable to eat a runny fried egg. (Gagging as I type this).
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I have such a bad gag reflex. And smells, make me almost throw up. I could never work at a perfume counter. Was just at a diner and the waitresses cologne was so strong I could taste it.

Mom would now be wearing depends. She would also be taken to the bathroom every two hours. Have he sit a minute longer, bend forward and make sure she voids completely. UTIs have a strong odor.

You may need to place Mom. With carpal tunnel, you are not going to be able to lift her when she needs to be. You don't want to have to toilet her eventually. Been there and had a blow out to clean up. Mom was on iron. Was so nice when she went to the AL. I took advantage of those aides.
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Daley, I feel for you.

1. Denture glue?
2. Pad check/change after each meal?

I guess as time goes on, if you are going to run an assisted living for one, you have the right to insist on some home rules?

Alva, thanks for the tales/laughs/nausea.. Nurses need MEDALS of bravery every single day!
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Perfume on the end of your sleeve . Raise your arm to bring your sleeve up to your nose now and then when you smell the urine . It’s a temporary fix until you can leave the room . I did/do this due to my mother’s and my father in laws “old strong stale “ urine smells. They didn’t/don’t change often enough either .
Don’t watch Mom eat .
And consider placing your mother . Her care needs will increase .
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This is when it's time to find another home for mom. If you can't do this anymore, you can't.

I hope you find a suitable place where she can be cared for 24/7 by professionals.
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Not a lot.
I spent my career as an RN.
We ALL had something that made us gag. For my friend Robin it was suctioning heavy secretions, and I can still remember her there with a tonsil suction, her body heaving and the fluids getting suctioned out.
For me it was pain for my patient. I can recall helping a patient hold her position for a lumbar puncture. Her moans caused my nausea. I can recall a patient whose doctor decided to "pop her breast implant encapsulation" (they don't do this anymore, having learned it's very dangerous the hard way) in the ER. Her scream took me fainting and nauseated to the floor.

So gagging is a natural part of our body's vaso-vagal nerve reaction to something repellant to us. And that I know of, short of a good whiff of smelling salt, there isn't always a lot to get us to "snap out of it".

I sure wish you the best of luck. Some have luck with just training their own mind. Most don't. A good mask may help. But then you have the breathing difficulty as you go about your work a bit short of breath.
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Try this product for moms dentures:

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Poligrip-Power-Hold-Plus-Seal-Denture-Cream-Unflavored-2-2-Oz-4-Pk/571452773

It really is like cement. Line the denture with a thinnish coat of the cream, and let it sit in her mouth for half an hour w/o eating or drinking.

If that doesn't work and mom's eating is making you gag at your own dinner table, I'd tell her to get new dentures or move out. Not everything is open for negotiation, my friend. If she enjoys the privilege of living with you, YOU need to be comfortable in your own home. It's only fair, let's face it. It's okay to ask her for what YOU need!

For your gag reflex, except while eating, get a paper mask and cover it with minty toothpaste. Then put another paper mask over it, and place both masks over your face. That's an RN trick they use when cleaning up blow out's. 😑

Better yet, get mom on a toileting schedule every 2 hours where the stinking briefs are no longer an issue. Again, boundaries and rules must prevail if you are to live in peace and not turn your home into a nursing home.
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According to your profile you say that both you and your husband have health issues yourselves, so I would say you can manage your "weak stomach" by having your mom placed in the appropriate facility, where others will have to deal with her smells and loose dentures, and you and hubby can take care of yourselves and try and enjoy your retirement.
But in the meantime, why don't you just puree all of her food and kick her dentures to the curb? And I hope that if your mom is incontinent that she's wearing more than just a pad in her underwear as you imply. She should be wearing Depends with a pad in them if needed and they should be changed every 2 hours so you don't have such a full and smelly load.
Both the pureed foods and changing every 2 hours are pretty standard in most nursing facilities.
Best wishes in finding the right one for your mom.
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You need to encourage (read you need to walk) mom to the bathroom every 2 hours at least.
Do not wait to smell urine before you tell her she needs to go to the bathroom.
If her dentures are not fitting properly they probably are not doing much good.
Change meals so that they are meals she can eat without teeth.
You can make the same thing for her that you make for yourself you just need to mince the food or even process it so that it can be eaten with a spoon. Or foods that are very soft and do not need chewing.
Monitor what she is eating and how, You may have to begin using a swab that is made for clearing the mouth clear the space between the cheek and gums both top and bottom.
It may get to the point where you may have to consider placing mom if you are going to be unable to handle more bladder and bowel incontinence.
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1/ Don't sit with her when she eats. Or think about ways to modify the food so that she doesn't need to resort to whatever "unappetizing manner" she uses.
2/ When you smell urine you tell her that she needs to go and change.
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