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I went to our Veterans county office. Awesome people. Mom 6 months to date, backpay followed. Terrific help.
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There are also companies out there like Veterans Care Coordination www.veteranscarecoordination.com/eligibility/
that can help you right away. They are awesome and helped me with my parents (my dad was a WWII vet) when we needed help immediately! They were awesome.
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The above is excellent information more case workers at the SNF’s should be open with families about the avenues available to them. When a family members needs the care sometimes the caregiver can’t think of everything. 
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I am in the process right now of getting aid & attendance for my mother (spouse of vet), even though my dad died over 40 years ago. Something you should know is that they consider the start date as the the day you initiate the process, so don't delay. I have been waiting for over 5 months for the paperwork to be finalized, but as I understand they will pay a catch-up payment for those 5 months of waiting once we are approved. Also, my local VA guy was much easier to work with rather than trying to figure it out myself online. There are also services that will help you with the application, but they charge and the VA rep doesn't. Good luck.
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Dear Greenpea:

I hope this link will help:

www.va.gov/survivors/
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Yes its called Aid and Attendance. Call your local VA office and talk to the rep. Ask what paperwork you need. The more info you have, the faster the process. A &A is not easy to get or an overnight thing.
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