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Hi
My layman's understanding of the law is that if you had the caregiver sign a waiver absolving you of responsibility if one of her children was hurt on your property or broke something, it would not stand up in a court of law if there was a suit. Perhaps another contributor who has a law background could answer this better.
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Simply tell her that children are not allowed in the workplace, whether it's in an office, factory, or home. She would have to find childcare if she worked in another field and in-home caregiving is no different. Too often we try to be nice, which often runs into us being run over. Just have to learn that "No" is a complete sentence.
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If they are not well behaved - discipline them yourself as you would your own child in front of mom. If you have a good relationship with your Caregiver - make it better. Maybe the kids would listen to you? Maybe if you said, 'hey kids, I left some books & a couple games in the family room for you - everything else is off limits'. Set your boundaries with them. OR..... give them chores (LOL). Kids are a joy to have around. Children and animals are seen differently through the eyes of dementia and typically brings joy. If you have a good relationship - make it work. Really. That will be your biggest battle. The 10 year old could help. She could play cards with your mom, fold clothes with her. All kinds of stuff.
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Well, its been a week, how did you handle things.
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I strikes me that there are a lot of layers to this onion.
Is the problem that she brings the children without having asked? Or, did she ask and you said yes?

Is the problem she brings her children? Or, is the problem the behavior of the younger boy?

Is the woman doing her job well?

How does your parent get along with the caregiver, and the kids?

Have you actually spoken to the caregiver? If not, why not?

What reasonable activities do you have for the child to do?

What reasonable alternatives does the caregiver have?

What reasonable alternatives do you have if not this caregiver?

Is this a liability concern for you? Or, an annoyance?

Your answers inform your options:
If this is a liability issue, the caregiver is not doing her job, or your parent is negatively impacted by the children, there is no discussion. Find a backup plan before you tell her she can't bring the kids.

If you don't have reasonable care options, the answer needs to be a negotiation of what can happen to improve the child's behavior given you need a caregiver.

All the other questions may lead to discussion, planning, boundary setting and creative thinking. But, you will have to have a discssion - something you might not have done, yet, if there are children in the house regularly without your permission.

Learning Lesson: be clear early on, before there is a problem.
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Its now 2 weeks and the OP has not bothered to respond to our posts. Seems she posted thankyou on the 13th but hasn't chosen to tell us how she handled it.
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BurntCaregiver Apr 2021
JoAnn29,

The OP hasn't told us how she handled her caregiver situation because many of the responses were probably ones she didn't want to hear.
There were more than a few of us who told her not to be such a hard-a** to the caregiver and that she should count herself lucky that she has good help that her parent gets along with.
Sometimes people go away when you don't tell them what they want to hear.
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Sorry JoAnn29 thought it was your mom.
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@BurntCaregiver, are you claiming to have psychic abilities that allow you to know exactly why the OP quit responding? Other than yours, I didn't see any posts calling her a "harda**". Most of them talk more about rules and liabilities and the fact that it's not appropriate or allowed to bring children to one's job in other settings.
I saw her respond at least a half dozen times in the beginning, so maybe she felt like she'd responded enough. Or maybe she's busy.
Why jump to the most negative conclusion possible? And why write it as if it's fact, instead of the speculation/assumption that it actually is?
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