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I am so sorry:(
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Thanks so much for your comments. I have been going thru the motions but find that I try to avoid sexual contact as much as possible. I have such mixed feelings about it. I'm having trouble wrapping by brain around it. I think "physically I can do this", but mentally is where I'm having difficulty.
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Most likely it would devastate him if you told him. Are you okay to continue sexual relations with him? Is it too much too ask?

Several months ago someone posted about not having sex with their husband that was suffering from dementia. They didn't feel their husband was their equal anymore. I had read their statement to my husband who commented that sexual pleasure was such an animal instinct. He felt sorry for the man that he was deprived of his prior state and lost his sex life with his wife due to her distaste. My husband was really upset about it.

My MIL did continue to have sex with my FIL, he had lost 2 legs (both were cut off above the knees) and he was demented. Still had a strong sex drive and she continued to have sex with him, before dementia got her, and after. I don't know how she felt about it, I didn't ask.

Men place a great deal of importance on sex. Can you go through the motions without being attracted to him?

What's that old line? The man speaks during sex and his wife tells him "be quiet, I am trying to fantasize now and it's not you I am fantasizing about".
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I have absolutely no experience in this area since I cared for my dad in my home but I think it's a great topic and am glad you brought it up. I'm sure there are many spouses of disabled people who are in the same boat.

I'm sorry I can't help but I totally respect your situation and your desire to talk about it.
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