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My boyfriend is in nursing home and his family lives 800 miles away and visits only twice a year. I am his only visitor and he depends on me for everything. I'm old too and very tired but he doesn't understand that. He wants me there at least 3 days a week for 2 - 3 hours each visit. What can I do to visit less?

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Maybe cut back how long you visit with him, versus how many times a week or both. You need to take care of you, too. Can you just call him instead? That is really thoughtful of you to want to visit but you have to put your needs first sometimes. Take care.
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I'M 76 AND HE IS 82 AND I HAVE EYE PROBLEMS AND NOT YELLING...SORRY.
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freqflyer Jan 2020
tired, I can fully understand the need for writing in capital letters. I am close to your age and I just recently had to increase the font size on my computer... [sigh]. And make the ringer louder on my cellphone :P
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No need to yell :) And no need to visit more than you want to.
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Another vote for it's ok to visit him less. Does he participate in the social offerings at the NH? If not, encourage him to do so. Did he have neighbors and friends? Maybe contact them to see if they'd be willing to visit once in a while. Was he formerly a member of a faith community, like a church? If so you can contact the office and see if they have a care or visitation ministry and get him on the list. My little church is starting such a ministry. Does he have any financial means? He can hire an agency companion to take him places and hang out with him a few days of the week.
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You don't say how old either of you are? Why is he in a NH?

Like willie said, you do what you want. If the 3x a week is Ok but its the 2 to 3 hours, cut back on the hours. If its the days cut back to 2 staying how long you are comfortable with.

He is BF not your husband. I don't think the relationship is going to go anywhere. 😊
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Just do it, visit less. Sure he'll be unhappy, but you won't be there to hear it. And it might help if you time your visits just before meals or an activity, then you have a ready excuse to leave. Don't feel guilty either, if you run yourself ragged and make yourself ill he won't be getting any visits at all.

(And please turn off your caps lock, all caps is considered shouting and besides that has been proven more difficult to read)
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JoAnn29 Jan 2020
Yes it is harder to read. Weird huh.
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