After months of debate, we finally agreed to place mom in a memory care unit. Had already made a deposit, then the state mandated the stay-at-home, before we got all the paperwork completed and mom moved in.
Now, almost 4 weeks later, we are back to an impasse. The facility has stopped all interactions between the residents. Their only interactions is with staff members bringing in food and checking on them. My sister is adamant that we are not moving her in under those conditions, and she holds the medical directive for mom.
Personally, I am on the fence. I think she needs to be there. But I also agree with my sister that current conditions would be make it very difficult for her to transition from the comfort and familiar surroundings of home.
Two questions:
1) Would you consider placing a family member, knowing there will be no interaction with other residents, and that person effectively will be confined to their room?
2) For those who already have a family member in memory care, is this isolation something other facilities are doing?
Mom is 91 and still fairly social, so I am leaning to delaying the move. Other siblings, some of whom have been in the rotation of staying with mom sometimes, may balk if a delay occurs and that will shift all the responsibility to my younger sister and I, and we both live out of state.
Now is NOT the time to move your mother anywhere, for obvious reasons. She will likely have a horrible time adjusting to such a situation, and who wouldn't??
If you're able to keep her home for now, do so, that's my suggestion. Most of us who have loved ones in residential care homes are feeling like we'll never get to see them again before they die. And if the virus does hit their facility, they can die without loved ones nearby to hold their hands or any of the usual end-of-life things that happen under normal circumstances. Everyone posting here is feeling guilty for having their loved ones in such a home to begin with. Don't add yourself to those statistics!
She is in Ga and even though the Gov has started lifting some restrictions, the facility is saying that they will stay in place until they get an 'all clear' from the CDC, and who knows when that may be. Thanks again!