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My mother is 96. Aging in place at home with my 95 year old dad. She was transported to the ER from her home via ambulance and treated for dehydration. She was admitted to the hospital to continue to be treated for dehydration (bloodwork to rule out UTI and pneumonia) for 3 days. She was transported to local nursing/rehab facility. She responded well to the hydration and care, nurses were terrific. Six days into her stay at rehab facility she contracted lice while in the facility. It took two days for them to confirm and treat the lice, fumigate her room, etc. She has at this point been responding well to PT/OT and speech therapy. She cannot cut her food and had difficulty swallowing. Speech Therapist was brought in to evaluate and small bite meals and assistance to eat was ordered. Still the regular not small bite meals were brought to her and left for her to "figure out" Supplemental Ensure/ high calorie liquids were to be available to her several times a day. Nine days into her rehab stay she was moved into a locked dementia ward without a family conference or discussion as to why. The facility contacted by dad (my sister and I were not notified) to let him know that she had been moved to dementia ward (my dad has deferred all decision making to my sister and I and I am the POA). And was caught by surprise by the call and was confused as to why they were calling him. Rehab facility said that mother needs constant assistance and she would receive more attention in locked dementia ward, along with daily PT, OT etc. She has a fall risk bracelet and needs assistance to move from bed to wheelchair. However she cannot move herself in a wheelchair. She has been in a locked dementia ward (reserved for mobile patients) for three days, there are no small bite meals, no one is assisting or encouraging her to eat, there has been no PT or OT, no one is checking to be sure she needs changing, etc. went to visit her yesterday. Nurse had difficulty waking her up. It was 1:30 and there was no lunch or breakfast, no Ensure, I found that she had soiled herself and had not been assisted. Bed linens were filthy. I washed her, changed her sheets and frankly, had little patience with the snarkiness from the nurse that had come on duty. We want her moved back to section that she was in when she first came to rehab facility. (Mother will not be coming home). My sister confirmed that her old room was empty. No one is returning phone calls, or messages. Voicemail for administrator, head nurse and assistant head nurse are all full so no message can be left. Message was left for social worker but still no response. Nurse and assistants "have their orders" I understand that during the weekends they may not be "on duty" but there should someone that oversees the weekend issues. We will not accept anything solution other than her being moved out of locked dementia. Can they refuse our request?

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Thank you. I appreciate your reply. I'll start looking for another facility.
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Reply to idmx303
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Does the nursing home have copies of POA ? If not they will call your Dad . They won’t call you until they have POA papers on file .
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Reply to waytomisery
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idmx303 Jul 28, 2024
Nursing home has all medical directive and POA. We confirmed with initial family conference that our Dad was deferring all the my sister and I. We are "the team"
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You are the POA in charge of financials. Dad gave sis medical POA. Read your POA papers. This may be why you are getting shut out of decisions. Other answers to your questions have been written
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Reply to MACinCT
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idmx303 Jul 28, 2024
No I am POA for both parents. My sister and I are the team. I am not being shut out of anything. WE were not contacted at all.
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idmx303, please note that "locked" is no different than you or I locking our front door and back door during the day. And making sure young children don't open the door and run out.

I remember a few years back when my Mom was in a very nice nursing home. While visiting my Mom in the common area at night, the Staff was starting to get the patients ready for bed, and tucked in. As the Staff worked their way down the hall, those they had tucked in were getting out of bed and wandering down the hall. I heard the head nurse say to herself "God, give me strength". The employees have a tough job, and finding new employees is very difficult. But I can understand how you feel.
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idmx303 Jul 28, 2024
The "locked ward" has no access in or out without keypad code from nurse. It was explained that this "ward" is locked to keep patients from wandering.
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Your Mom’s needs weren’t being met in particular for help with meals on either unit .
They aren’t going to keep her on the rehab unit indefinatly even if they move her back . And you said Mom is not going home .
Find a new SNF .
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idmx303 Jul 28, 2024
Thank you. As soon as she was moved to this locked ward with no PT/OT or assistance she declined dramatically. It was like night and day. Mom is not coming home, but we were told that she would be in skilled nursing until it became clear that hospice was needed and then she would be moved to Hospice care. My sister and I feel like they just shoved her in the dementia ward without services to hurry her decline so that she can be moved into hospice. No one is returning phone calls. Very frustrating.
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Why are you SO concerned with the "locked" aspect of the ward mom was moved into? It's for safety reasons only that locked doors exist in the first place, and more care and supervision is normally provided in such a ward. I say normally because obviously your mom was not given the care she needed, and I would be seriously angry were this my mom.

I would get mom OUT of this SNF entirely if it were my mother, to be honest with you. Not for moving her to the locked ward.....but for her getting lice, and for her swallow issues being ignored, along with no PT and OT and being left in a soiled mess till 1pm, ie: ignored. Swallow issues are VERY serious and need to be treated with respect by a knowledgeable staff of experiences caregivers. This SNF sounds to me like a 2nd rate place that won't ever meet your standards. Mom deserves better, especially at 96 and approaching end of life.

I had to get my own mother out of a dump of a SNF she went to for rehab before they killed her! They had her oxygen cannula hooked up to NOTHING! My God, I was livid. My hubs and I called around to find other SNFs that had availability and toured them in person. Luckily, we found a terrific one that was clean and beautifully run, and had Medicare approve the transfer. The new SNF was Medicaid approved also, so if I had to move her there permanently, we were all set.

That's how I would handle this chaos. I believe, in a poorly managed place like this, that they CAN refuse your demand to move mom out of the dementia ward. In any case, I'd move her OUT of there entirely. They've shown you their incompetence, believe them.

Good luck and Godspeed, my friend. I feel your pain.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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BarbBrooklyn Jul 28, 2024
Amen to what Lea said!!
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