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I read this often here, others invest in someone's home and at the time it sounds like a wonderful idea, doesn't seem to work out that way, as when one is beholding to another it is a trap.

Seems it might be time to TT your brother about taking him for a period of time every year as he got a freebie too.

Or, buy him out of your home and then move him to AL, children should not be exposed to his behavior.
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He is not going to change, and as he ages he could get worse. Not sure what you mean by invested in your home. Did he give money for a down payment or money to make changes to the home? There is a saying - never do business with family or friends. I am sorry you are in this situation. My father is similar, but I don't have to live with him. Good luck. Other may have some good advice for you.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2023
Exactly! I just posted the same thing. It’s inviting trouble to lend or borrow money from a family member or friend.
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I suppose that you feel obligated to allow him to stay with you, since he invested in your home.

Why did he pay for your brother’s condo and invest in your home? Did he offer or did you ask for his help to purchase a home?

I don’t believe in mixing up funds because it can lead to trouble.

I’m grateful that my parents raised me to be independent. There were times when I struggled and worked two jobs but I had the satisfaction of not relying on my parents for help.

If you feel badly about accepting money from your father in order to buy your home, have you considered paying him a fair share of his money back and calling it even? Then ask him to move out and then you can live in peace in your own home.
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Dcoyne22 Aug 2023
He could not care for my mom so we all sold our homes and bought a larger one. He invested from the sale of his home but we did also. To be “ fair” he bought my brother a condo. Since my mom passed we moved to FL. He is not on any of the house paperwork. Mostly I feel so terribly guilty about how much I resent him and his behavior :(
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What would he say id you said, “please stop being mean to us”? Would that set him off?
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ventingisback Jul 2023
He’s been like that all his life. Such people don’t change. They get worse.

If someone would have been able to change his behavior, it would have happened a long time ago.

They don’t change, no matter what you say to them, don’t say to them, do, don’t do, gray rock, whatever. They will not change.

(Ventingisback)
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Why do you tolerate his abusive behavior? He lives in YOUR house not the other way around.

So what if he invested in your home. That does not give him a free pass to ruin everyone life in the house with his abusive behavior.

You and your husband have a talk. Do the two of you want him out of your home? If the answer is 'yes' tell him that his behavior will not be tolerated anymore and that he is moving out.
Offer to help him find a place.

If he throws a tantrum about it, tell him that you and your husband will legally evict him.

If you both want him to stay then you lay down some ground rules about his behavior.
You've got a senior brat on your hands. Give him a choice. Either he gets his act and behavior together or he leaves. Keep it simple.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
Senior brat…Yeah.
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It was very kind of you to allow him to live with you. You have a very good heart.

He’s being mean to you. You know it: there is only one real solution: not to live together.

If you want to continue living together, there’s only one real solution: bump into him as little as possible.
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2023
@venting

The other real solution is either he cleans up his act and behavior, or he gets thrown out.
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