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Okay, I don't understand this: "She then called me back saying, you know what it's okay. You don't have to pay mom back; we will be fine and she will be out of your house before the end of this year!" Why do YOU have to "pay mom back"? Did she mean SHE didn't have to pay mom back?

Here's what I see: your sister dumped your mother on you. You had a good job situation and had lived in NY for three years. But then you gave it all up to come back and babysit your mother.

Your sister stole money from your mother. Your mother needs to go live with HER.

You are 35 years old. Time is marching on, if you want a family. Time to get rid of your mother. She and your sister have been using you.
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Hi CTTN55,
Basically I had a conversation with my sister on the phone. When I asked her for a current bank statement to find out what does my mother have left over from the sale of her home; my sister went crazy and started yelling at me saying I have the audacity to ask for such a thing. I told her, "I have every right to ask for this document because she is living with me in my house"!.
After she finished yelling, she hung up on me and called me back saying "you know what it's okay. You don't have to pay mom back; we will be fine and she will be out of your house before the end of this year!"

Her comment threw all kinds of red flags to me. This made me feel it was a cop out to prevent me from seeing how much she took from that sale. The first year I was in NY, I borrowed some money from my mom to pay my mortgage as I was a few months behind. I have already paid her back some of the money, but since I had to leave NY and come back and take care of my mom; I'm unable to pay her back the last bit of money I owe her since I can't find a job in GA. I have one more month of mortgage to pay her and I'll be done.
My sister was basically throwing it in my face; and to be honest...technically I really don't owe her anything because she's been living in my home for 3 years for free.
However, my parents never raised me to take back from them what they have provided for me my whole life. It's a tough situation. It's like I have the morals and values my parents taught me growing up, yet my mother is mis-treating (using and manipulating) me and I'm turning into a person who is heavily angry all the time which goes against those morals I've been taught. Then when I get angry, she tells my sister that I'm emotionally abusing her! My sister then calls me and attempts to cuss me out and she is going to call the authorities and report me!
It's like a big domino-effect, but I'm handling it and staying prayerful! Only God can help me out of this situation!
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MelinC, if your mother has to go on Medicaid some day, they will have that 5 year lookback and note that you borrowed money from your mother. If it is a large amount, they are going to be on you like a duck on a june bug. If you repay her in full, that will be OK, but anything big - Medicaid notices.
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You might want to contact an elder law attorney. Your sister was in charge of that money for your mom. Taking any of it constitutes theft. POA needs to be revoked from her if she has it.

Beyond that, your mom probably needs to be in AL or a family care home. She will not be able to continue living on her own. Your sister doesn't sound responsible enough to find her a safe placement. You may be able to contact someone at social services to find out the best ways to help your mom legally.
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I don't want to scare you, but I bet that your sister would accuse you of abuse - anything to derail an investigation in her own crime of taking your mom's money - and it is a crime! If it were me, I would get in first and report financial abuse of an elder, your mom, and they will get what they need from your sister. Don't trust any of her promises - just empty air. Get some justice for your mom and yourself - it is the right, moral thing to do.
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