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Ok so now we know you are a guy dap 2020. You said you are your mothers SON. That changed the whole dynamic. It’s not between 3 sisters, it’s between 2 sisters and a brother. You just said the 2 sisters aren’t fighting about it. Your sister plans on paying for everything. You are feeling guilty so you want to pay too. Your sister that is paying via not even worrying about the sister that is. Why with you being the brother worried about the sister that won’t pay. You don’t know her financial situation in this pandemic. My brother is very wealthy, he wouldn’t hold a grudge towards me if I couldn’t help pay for my mothers funeral. He’s not like that. Be good to both your sisters. It’s not all about the money!!! Dap 2020 you are probably closest to your mom because you are her only son.
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dap2020 May 2020
I never said anything about three sisters and that's why I had mentioned that I'm their brother. Someone else came up with that.
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Dap2020 you also told us that your younger sister who never pays for anything, is storing her property for free for the last 15,months? Why would you let her store her stuff in your shed knowing she would never pay you. If you wanted money from her you should have drawn up a contract with her and if she didn’t pay, you could take her to court or judge Judy. Apparently she makes a habit of not paying you back. Next time just say no. You also told us your younger sister who can’t pay filed bankruptcy. She filed bankruptcy. That means she couldn’t pay her own bills. If she can’t pay her own bills then she can’t pay for your mom’s funeral either. Don’t disown your sister just because she filed bankruptcy. She can’t pay anybody back. Don’t take it personally. She can’t even pay her own bills. Your telling us this. I’m not making this up. I’m only reading what you told me. If you want to repair any of this with your siblings I would suggest counseling.
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If mom is still alive and well, and this is trying issue for you, ask mom.
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FloridaDD,
The money was seized because my brother put the funds in his own account.
Hopefully that wasn't the only takeaway from my post!
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xrayjodib, no that wasn’t the only takeaway from your post. I read what you wrote. FAMILY FIRST!!!! Pick family over money. Don’t throw away a lifetime of memories over money. Well said!!!! I agree!!
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When my father passed away in 1998 my mother asked him if he wanted his body donated to science. He said no, he wanted to be cremated. Well, my mother didn't spend alot on a fancy funeral or a fancy funeral director. She only paid $750.00 for a funeral director who wore jeans and a shirt. That was cheap, even back then in 1998. She had a simple service at our church with cake and coffee. No fuss, no muss. We had family and friends at the church. If you check around, you don't need to spend alot on a funeral. Especially a cremation. My Mother paid for the funeral.
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Short answer: yes because she is a daughter. Does she get to dictate? No but certainly take her feelings into consideration with regard to her parent’s funeral.
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So Mom is still alive and you three siblings are doing the planning? Does Mom have any say? Take Mom to the funeral home and get her opinion. Did younger sister agree to pay a share before arrangements were made and have a say in what was spent or did sister with $ make the decisions and then expect everyone to pay up?


When my father passed I went with Mom to the funeral home and she made the arrangements. After that she said just do for me what I did for Dad except don’t be dragging me to church. I didn’t go when I was alive so no need to take me when I’m dead. After MIL passed FIL went down and made his own arrangements so all we needed to pick out were flowers and write the Obit. When SIL passed two years ago hubby and youngest sister went together. SIL wanted no fuss and nothing formal she had chosen cremation. We had a memorial picnic at the family farm followed by a shootout in the corn field and fireworks. Everyone said it was a perfect way to remember her. Her ashes were spread on the farm privately.
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elaine1962 May 2020
I love your answer!!! Memorial picnic and fireworks!!! I love it!!!
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I would seek out family counseling for you and your siblings to try and resolve the money issue. Your younger sister went through a great deal with a bankruptcy. A bankruptcy is hell I heard. It’s something nobody wants to do but they have to do it because they over spent. It’s not that she doesn’t want to pay, she can’t pay. Let it go.
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