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Midkid58, we watch my MIL's other offspring ignore her most of the year. On Mother's Day and her birthday she mostly gets cards; will maybe see a couple of the other sibs. Rarely does she even get a phone call during the year. So if we canceled having a get-together and suggested they go by and visit with their mom for Christmas, she'd get...more cards. And CaringRN, I agree with CarlaCB; if she doesn't know the difference then that's the time to stop. The selfish part of me wants my MIL to not notice, but the part of me that really loves her is thankful she's not that far gone. We just want her to be happy and can't understand why the others seem to care so little.
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For many years I did all the work for the Holiday family gettogethers. Ugh. I spent days cooking in advance. Weeks baking and stockpiling cakes, breads and cookies. Ugh.

Then, one year I suggested that we all go to a 5 star restaurant. Wow..you would have thought I suggested converting to satanism! So, I was more forceful....I was not cooking that year, so everyone bring part of the holiday meals, bakery goods with you. Funny...one by one they all found another obligation with the spouses' family. Cool. That is where it ended.

Now, these days I do not know what will happen. It looks like there is just Mom and me. My parents were the very last of their generation. And have out lived most of the next generation besides. My own son is too swamped with his own family and disabled children...between dealing with that and working 2 jobs, they will not be coming to visit.

I am thinking to do a small dinner and head to bed early. Avoid the TV, and just try to skip it altogether. Maybe some has a good idea? I just cannot see a ton of food to go bad, or gifts that neither one of us wants or needs. With Moms' disability, going anywhere is always an ordeal....going out for more than a drive is just not something that is done for fun.
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Katiekate, I think the day can still be special. If she can go out for a drive, why not plan a route of Christmas light displays? Then maybe plan to watch a Christmas movie together with some special snacks, rather than planning a traditional meal. That sounds cozy and special.
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