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Just want to let you know that you are not alone, and that many of us understand.
My advice to you (and to myself) is to find a job outside the home - a job that keeps you busy. And hire a carer to look after your mum. This is what I am planning to do now after five years of stress, gaslighting and other forms of abuse by my mother and sisters.
You are right when you suspect she begrudges you your good health - and she is hell-bent on depriving you of the thing she envies.
Don't worry about her kicking you out, disinheriting you, etc. You have a lot more to lose by staying in this situation.
Take care and God bless. You deserve to be safe and happy.
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Hi DrivingDaisy,

You stated that you "ask God every night to forgive my sinful thoughts" ... your thoughts are not sinful. They are simply your wish for your long torture to end. It seems like right now, you fell the only way out is her death.

Your mother constantly tells you…."you MUST have cancer, high blood pressure, a blood clot etc.  .." Well; I DO have those things. My mother is very angry because my dying takes my attention away from her.

She might want you sick so she can play "oh poor me, my child is sick" but then you would have to hurry up and die, to make her happy (center of attention) again.

My mother has about 1.3 million in her properties: that I (and my sons) have helped repair, rent and upkeep over 30 years. - 1/3 will be taken in taxes. She made me feel worthless and constantly 'reminds' me that she has all this money and is so important, I am nothing, etc. etc. Says that I will get all this money … after she die.
I already legally signed off on that ball and chain.

She inflicts all her stress onto others; while she stays relatively healthy. She has buried 2 husbands and one boyfriend, a sister and a brother. --- all who basically have given their life for a piece of this pie.
I am next to die. She won't believe me and that I "have some nerve" to say that I am sick.

You are working hard for a NM who will never appreciate it. I do get it! I do it. Would you exchange that money for your life? . Stress kills. She will outlive me.

Question: If you were told that you only had about a year left to live, what would you do?
Would you give your mother your last year, last month, last day, last hour and last breath?


Best of Luck and God Bless You
-Bevel
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I cannot believe that my husband's narcissitc way of fighting has continued through the alzheimer's. He postures himself as never being at fault. I'm so fed up I will leave after the next episode. My hearing is going to hell, because he watches so much of it and at a high volume, my hearing is suffering. I've asked him to do two things since his alzheimer's has progressed. Take the dog out and put on headphones.

I'm so sorry, but I do follow a Scott Bassett? about narcissit people, really hasn't helped, but I know they are out there and the best thing is to walk away. I can't do it.
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