Follow
Share

My father is in assisted living. He has a mobile phone but rarely answers it because it is not turned on or the ringer volume is too low so I cannot often reach him for hours. In extreme cases I can call the facility, but that's a hassle. Is there a small monitor that can be mounted on a desk or table, that is always on, that all it does is display a large text that I send so my father can see it and then he can call me? If it doesn't exist maybe this be a good product to invent!

Why is dad going to notice a text message when he's not aware enough to leave his cell phone turned on or the ringer on loud enough to hear? You'll run into the same issue with a text machine that you do with a cell phone. When an elder loses cognitive functioning, they reach a point where a large poster board with a note on it is meaningless bc they don't read it and/or comprehend it. Until mom's dementia got very bad, a landline with a loud ringer worked best. Even THAT became such a problem I could write a book 😑 And what worked even better, was me not finding a ton of reasons TO call her. If necessary, the "hassle" of calling the AL is wayyyyyy less than the real hassle of getting a hold of an elder going down the dementia highway. #Truth
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

We have the Alexa app in our house and I can call to DH in the other room (since he is pretty deaf) and announce that dinner is ready--whatever--and it's nice and loud and he hears it.

My MIL cannot remember how to type, and now she's struggling to read letters into words.

She has some kind of Ipad that works with her and YS. Dh isn't in the 'system' so he can't call her.

I call my kids on Alexa while I'm working in the kitchen, or sewing and I can have hands free conversations and multi-task.

Sadly, for really out-of-it elders, there isn't anything that they can relate to anymore. My DH will simply drive to his mother's to talk to her face to face. That is the only way he's sure she heard him.
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Midkid58
Report

I recently learned that if you have Alexa you can "drop in" on someone else that has Alexa.
There are alerts that are used for people that are hard of hearing that will alert them to a phone ringing, a doorbell ringing. Typically it can be a flashing light that will indicate a phone ringing.
Most phones have a "vibrate" so even if the ringer is down the phone will vibrate to let him know there is a call or text.
If you can get into the habit of calling at a specific time that might make it easier for him. So if you know that he gets up at 8 and there is an aide there at 8 to help him you know that the phone will be answered.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report
applefrom Dec 9, 2023
We've found Alexa Echo show to be a really helpful thing. I wish I'd known of it earlier.
(5)
Report
See 4 more replies
Get an old fashioned loud landline phone if his AL offers landline service . My FIL’s is cheap $30 a month . He can’t use the cell phone anymore . He remembers how to use the old push button phones . We have a laminated list of phone numbers next to the phone . He can’t operate nor does he need an answering machine anymore. If he doesn’t answer we just call back later . You have go back in time like LO is .
FIL has a “new” cell phone because he thinks he needs it and he thought the other one was broken . He never uses it .
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to waytomisery
Report

I zip tied mom’s phone to a standup charger so it is on a “easel”. I also went into settings and set it to AUTO ANSWER and cleaned out her contacts and changed the setting it so only people in her contacts can call her. The phone is on LOUD and when I call, it will auto answer for her and I just start talking. It did help to have it announce the caller. I talk to mom and when it is over, I have to hang up because she isn’t good at it and her fingers are usually so cold, it doesn't register. This phone system coupled with cameras have helped me call when it is important to redirect. I will get alerts from the camera and then when I check, I can see she is wandering in circles or something isn’t right. She believes the cameras are speakers so I can hear her on the phone. This was very helpful when mom was up all night. She had no memory of it because she had a UTI and we were able to address it immediately. One time she was on the floor because she dropped something and could not get up. The constant alerts were helpful. ALEXA show is great. I can drop in and talk to her face to face. It is easy to set up and I have her favorite photos as a screen saver. Also, I can put in reminders (just before to tell Alexa to Speak Slower and she will). You can also set it to speak the reminder 3 times. I can start her favorite music to wake her up and to go to sleep.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Tandemfun4us
Report
Grandma1954 Dec 14, 2023
not to step all over lisatrevor's question but reading your response it sounds like your mom is living alone. Even with the system you have set up it does not sound safe.
(3)
Report
The internet is full of such things, Lisa. Look up through Alz.org for companies specializing in special devices.

Problem is, when dementia makes the scene they all become too complicated for our seniors.
Meanwhile such places as telecalm on Facebook or at TeleCalmProtects.com which has all kinds of special phones. Also look up "special phone devices for seniors". You will be flooded.

I don't think a lot of them have texting, which seems confusing for some seniors, but they may. Setup is always a problem as few places have dedicated techie consierges, tho some do.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

A landline Vtech Senior Amplified photo phone worked well for my mother. I printed photos of her 3 children and inserted them on the base of the phone. She just pushed the face of the child she wanted to call. However, she often left the phone off the receiver and was often upset by solicitors calling. I blocked a lot of numbers from calling her.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Seriousleigh
Report

Why does Dad turn it off or have it so low? Brother must be having this problem too? Maybe Dad would be better with a landline and an old model type phone. One where you have the cradle and hand set. Have you asked him why he turns the phone off or turns it down?

I would run the Alexa thing by him. If he has a hearing problem, may not work for him. Reason we don't have one. DH can't hear it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Lisa,

If your dad wants the volume turned up on his phone, wouldn’t he do it or ask someone else to do this?

Unless you have an emergency, don’t worry about not being able to send a text message to him.

You could go to the store (dollar store has inexpensive cards) and purchase several cards for you to write quick notes to send to your dad. He may enjoy receiving mail from you.

He may not be a chatty person, regardless of whether he owns a cell or not.

Be at peace knowing that your dad is well cared for in a great assisted living facility.

Don’t look for trouble. Look at the things that are going well instead of focusing on something that doesn’t matter all that much.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

Just a heads up so people don't keep posting. This post is from Dec 2023.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

See All Answers
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter