My father is extremely upset with me. It is all my fault for him being in a nursing home (he refused to leave) I have been his primary so I was able to speak to staff about medical issues. He has been falling and he said they were never to call me. So now they have taken my phone number out of their system. My other two siblings are still on the list. Neither one talks to the other and one only speaks to me. I spoke to the new social worker today and she said she would try to talk to Dad to see why he is so angry. I know what he wants....he wants to be 10 years ago, independent and living his life. Unfortuately he didnt take good care of himself and he is where he is. Add to this a brother who is doing everything possible to take me out of the picture. Yes. My father has money but it is all accounted for in a trust and in a money market account that is well watched. Should I speak to a lawyer? Or do I continue to grieve the loss of my living father?
I have a child with basically the pediatric equivalent of Parkinson. His mood swings drastically on days the tremors are bad, and at times hears things that scare him. Just like many Parkinson patients do who hear and see things actually. A terrible symptom to fight. For my son it's not mental health side but side effects of cranial pressure being way too high interacting with the tremor parts of the other condition.
Changes can be sudden and leave me saying internally, "wait what???" If it's new the medical social worker can initiate screenings/assessment. And as others said, if you have POA, siblings should not be able to interfere. (Obviously they may try anyway).
Not sure what your local laws are but where I am a person can have the POA for a loved one but still be restricted in other ways. For example I had to get both a POA, and incompetent declaration for my son in order to be sure decisions were not recklessly endangered by family unfamiliar with all the details and needs. Even some agencies wanted my son to explain desires in detail, but his memory function is so bad, he can't keep up with conversations and gets easily confused. During good days he communicates better, so some get the impression I am not allow him input.
Before I had the declaration, some providers hassled me utilizing the POA. Yes I know they shouldn't, but some Check-in clerks at a random Dr office are not always versed on the legal stuff and start spouting HIPPA without proper understanding of medical POA etc.
I really am pulling for you that this hurt you feel will heal.
If no mental changes have occurred perhaps the social worker can encourage some therapy of sorts. A way for h to get some symbolic control back. That loss of independence is a huge roadblock I bet.
Maybe he just needs some "wins" in his corner. Feeling stripped of choice, even if not true can cause rebellious behavior.
So sorry you dealing with this. It's got to cut deep when all you want to do is help and support. Not sure if any of what I said makes sense or helps but it does seem lots of great responses here offer good steps forward. It's why I value this site so much.
I am sorry that your dad is not speaking to you. I imagine you are heartbroken! It can be difficult to know you did the right thing just to have that person (dad) to be mad at you for caring.
I could help you more if I knew what it is that you want?
Do you want your relationship with your dad again?
Or are you just feeling used and left out?
Are you worried about your dad? If so, about what?
Please give more information!
Why would you speak to a lawyer? This is family discord and there isn’t much a lawyer can do about that. I hope the social worker can help you.