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FIL has late stage dementia. He talks all day and half the night. Most of what he says doesn't make sense, or else is twisted. Like yesterday he was saying that he built our house. Which of course he didn't. But he was going on and on about it. I just kept nodding but it is driving me crazy. Any ideas on what to do? I haven't been turning on the tv lately because if he sees something there he goes on a fantasy trip about it for days afterwards. For instance, a dune buggy race became that he wanted to race the dogs, and he won $3 million and had a fit when I didn't go pick up his winnings in time.

Dr. hasn't been very helpful, but referred FIL to a neurologist. Not sure about that.

Any suggestions on how to help? He has not been eating partly because he won't stop talking. MIL is deaf and can't hear him, so just tunes him out.

Thanks for listening
Christine

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You will be better off with the Neurologist as long as he/she is one who specializes in the aging brain. If he is not eating, check him for dehydration, because that alone could affect him. Be sure to tell the MD about the TV affecting his memory and you have to be very careful about what he watches. A good Neurologist will do bloodwork and brain imaging and needs a complete history, including medications used now or in the past.
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Aging has its privileges, if an elder wants to chat about the past or mistaken memories, what is the big deal. Too often we drug them up so they "behave" as we want them to. It is kinder to accept some of these habits.
I would try to see what could be done to help him sleep part of the night as he needs his rest. However, the elderly without dementia don't sleep 8 hours a night in many cases. They often sleep 5 to 6 hours a night at most. Naps can help them too.
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My boyfriends Mother does this as well. We just let her talk and go along with what she says. We feel that it is epher only enjoyment to still be able to talk at 94 years old. She is in a nursing home and one of few in the Alzheimer's unit that is still able to talk. She is delifpghtful to the staff as she comes up with some really witty things. My mother on the other hand lost her ability to speak all together, which is think is worse. There is never a one answer fits all situations.
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If the story isn't harming anyone (i.e., "I built this house") then let it go. I know it's hard to ignore an awful whopper like that, but it's best to choose your battles with a dementia patient. They'll never believe you when you contradict them, and it will just make them angry.
If it's a lie that will harm someone or cause dissention in the family, like Manalake's MIL insisting that she paid for Manalake's house, then it should be explained to the BIL, in private, that MIL was mistaken. Accusations of physical harm have to be taken more seriously. I would never allow myself to be alone with my MIL for that reason. She's already told my husband that I threatened to have her arrested for failing to pay her income taxes (???) and I don't doubt for a second that she'd tell someone that I punched her. I never would, although I'd really like to. Just one good, solid punch in the nose to pay her back for thirty years of lies, insults, triangulation, arrogance, back-stabbing and sneakiness.
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See a neurologist who specializes in dementia care. There are many as this is a very common problem. Meds MAY help!
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My Father who has dementia does this as well. The stories seem to give him some joy. He always liked to tell stories and be the center of attention. As janap mentioned, it is a source of enjoyment for him. I also agree with Sadonewithsal that if the stories could cause harm, inform the other person in private.

Does your FIL live with you? Then I understand it could be really hard to listen to him talking all of the time. It is easier when I spend a few hours a day with Dad to listen to stories I know are not true.
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My mum jumbles all her words up every hard to know what the conversation about but I answer her the best I can she also sings and rhymes her words god bless her and has chats to the people on the tv I love her this way then not talking at all
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My MIL (alzheimers) made up stories all the time and I hated it. When visitors came by it got so embarrassing. She claimed that she paid for our house!! 100% false. She and her husband never ever gave us a thin red dime! My husband's brother was visiting when she told that whopper and he got that funny look on his face. I'm sure he got to thinking that she "bankrolled" my husband and me. It's just one of many wacky stories but each one...........when repeated enough times appears to other to have a thread of truth. She's also claimed that I pushed her on the floor and beat her up. So ridiculous in every way. In the end...........medication helped a lot. I hope you are able to get something to settle your FIL. Our family doctor prescribed Seroquel and Haldol ............and she is less agitated now.
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Lizann, I was going to give an answer, but you said it perfectly.
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You cannot 'do' anything to stop confabulation.

Just smile, be agreeable, and don't take anything he says seriously unless he is in distress.

You didn't cause it, it isn't his fault, so just play along. It will do no harm.

Be blessed.
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