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Husband is disabled, uses a portable urinal in his puppy training covered lift chair.  7 yr old visits. sees urinal. problem? Mom is mad. He does not pee in front of her. She can't come and visit any more and says it is illegal for her daughter to be exposed. A urinal??? Suggestions what I can do?

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What is a puppy training covered lift chair? Can the urinal be put away for the length of the visit, if your husband isn't going to use it during the visit?

I'm not understanding what kind of urinal it is. My dad had one that is just a plastic bottle-type thing with a lid. That could easily be put away in the bathroom or another room during granddaughter's visit.

Seven might be a bit young to try to explain what is going on with granddad, so I'd suggest you just put the urinal in another place where it's not visible during her visits.
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I don't understand who is preventing the child from visiting, and who is it she would be visiting. Her grandfather?

It is not illegal for a child to be exposed to toilets, baby-changing tables, portable urinals, or catheter bags. That claim is nonsense. Some of these things might need to be explained to a child seeing them for the first time, and the explanation may vary by the child's age. But illegal? Give me a break.

So, who is trying to prevent the child's visits, and what are the REAL reasons behind this attempt?
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How about throwing a blanket over his portable toilet, so the child doesn't see it? Most things can be covered by a decorative throw!
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This is his daughter and grandchild, not yours? Unless he is using it in front of her then of course her comments are silly and completely unjustified. It seems pretty obvious to me that it is just a smokescreen for the real issues. Perhaps the child just doesn't want to come, but in my opinion that wouldn't stop a mother determined to keep up family connections. It sounds more like she is being overly judgmental and she is looking for a way to hurt you both....
There is a whole lot of family dysfunction implied by this kind of attitude.
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Thanks for all of the input. Because I was limited to the number of words I could write, I will clarify that I put puppy pads on my husband's chair so in case their is an accident, the chair is protected. The child does not have a problem with the urinal...it's the mom. She thinks he is just being lazy but does not understand how difficult it is for him. Thanks for all of the input. I feel a lot better knowing that I am not exposing the child to something "illegal" and morally wrong.
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Some of the most compassionate people I know, were as children, exposed to illnesses and disabilities. They grew up understanding that these things are a part of life. Of course it's important that this exposure be age appropiate and that it be balanced - neither constant nor hidden, neither eternal gloom nor sugar coated. Of course grandpa should not be urinating in front of the child, but should she notice the presence of the urinal, an age appropiate, matter of fact explanation could do wonders for setting some ground work for her developing attitude towards caring and compassion. It's a shame the mother is treating this like some dirty little secret that needs to be hidden instead of viewing it as an oppertunity to shape her daughter into someone who would treat people with illness or disability with kindness and understanding. Shame in her!
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Shame ON her - not in...but then again, maybe "in" works as well. Perhaps it is her own lack of compassion and understanding that is really the root of the problem.
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Goodness me, the mother's being a bit precious isn't she? Is the child supposed not to know that elders and gentlemen and gentlemen elders have to "go" too? I hope she gets over her fit of the vapours and realises how silly and impractical she is being.
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First of all, Grand children can be taught to love and accept people with disabilities and no a urinal is not offensive or abusive, that is absolutely ridiculous. I happen to work in a Rehabilitation Nursing Home and many of our patients old and young, use urinals or bedpans / briefs, ...and have children, or grandchildren visit and absolutely no one is offended by it . It's just like if a child had a potty chair out in site. There is not a state or a country anywhere that is going to consider a urinal to be abusive. I'm guessing the grandmother is extremely shallow and has no compassion with people for disabilities in instead she feels some kind of shame, that is on her please don't take it upon yourself to worry about it. If the child has questions simply let her know that her daddy uses it to go potty because it's hard for him to go another way .She will totally get it just like she would about a potty chair that she has to use. I am sorry that you even have to deal with a grandmother who is so controlling and demanding. Please continue to bring the little girl to visit your husband people need their families and support while they are going through such hard times.( fyi in order to preserve your husband's dignity I would rethink the "puppy pad" they have machine washable reusable ones, l or you can use the disposable ones meant for adults .I think using the puppy pads could actually cause your husband to feel embarrassed. Most health insurances should pay for the incontinence pads to go on his chair.)
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exposure to a bed side commode is NO DIFFERENT than HER POTTY chair when toilet trained !! Just explain it the same way !!
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