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My cousin, once again, went to the ER with cellulitis pain plus her mobility went down to zero after being released from the nursing home in April. This is her 3rd time doing this in a year. She is only 62 but obese and the two strokes left her very immobile due to her weight. Her sister has been trying to care for her every feeding, changing pads, meds, etc. She is older and can't continue this, going to the ER herself last week for chest pain, also obese. My cousin needs to live in a nursing home due to her immobility and her FL blue only pays for 2 months. So she would have to give up her assets I guess to live there full time and neither wants to do it. I don't see it as a choice anymore. She must give up her life insurance and SS check to live. She can't get in a bed for over a year now. It's impossible because of her weight and stroke. If she got better after a year in the nursing home could she go back home? She could lose a lot of weight in the home possibly get more mobile. This Pretty much is the reason she keeps coming home to a bad living situation. I'm not sure why the Council on Aging hasn't advised her on her options. Any ideas?

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It is unlikely. Most of the improvement s/p cva happens in the first few months, with the swelling in the brain going away, and areas that were injured or disabled by this pressure come back somewhat. After a month, whatever injuries remain become chronic without a TREMENDOUS amount of work with PT and determination. The obesity is a huge complication.
The Sister should not be attempting this care. Only she can put a stop to this, telling her Sister she is sorry but cannot continue in care. She will then be going to LTC or hiring help in the home.
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Exactly right, my cousin has to say no. It will take her having a heart attack I guess. The problem is they think a new bed is the answer but it so isnt a fix. She cant get off or in a bed by herself so a 10k bed isnt going to fix her.
I'll just step back and let them do this to themselves i guess. Living in a NH is the only answer I see. Thank you
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https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-cousin-is-62-and-has-had-2-strokes-she-is-obese-and-immobile-but-refuses-to-live-in-alc-466646.htm

Is KAWW58 you because your stories are a little different from the post from April. TU for updating ur profile.

Are you living with these two cousins? Or, are you in your own home now and willing to take the older cousin in? I am writing based on ur 2 posts and your profile

No, you cannot sell the trailer and use the proceeds to upgrade ur house. Medicaid does not allow it. The proceeds need to go towards the younger cousins care. If the trailer is in both cousins name, then maybe older cousin can use her half to upgrade your home but you still have a problem if older cousin needs Medicaid in the nxt 5 years. Medicaid considers that you profit from any upgrades or additions done to your house using someone elses money. When u sell ur house it sells for more because of the upgrades. This would cause a penalty for older cousin if she needs Medicaid LT. If trailer is owned by both cousins, it may be better that older cousin remain in the trailer if she can afford it.

What your older cousin should do is tell rehab her sister cannot return home because it will be an "unsafe discharge". She now needs 24/7 care that she can no longer give. That the trailer is not safe. Also, she has proof that the police have had to come to help cousin up. They don't do this forever.

As an "unsafe discharge" the home will not be able to release her unless she can prove she has 24/7 care. They can check out her trailer and request upgrades being done to allow her to come home.

So what happens when the insurance company stops paying? The NH will ask that she use up her assets. When assets start running out they will help her apply for Medicaid and that her SS and any pension be handed over to them. Will she ever get out, I doubt it. She has already had 2 strokes. NH may put her on a special diet but she can't be made to follow it. She has access to vending machines. If she wants dessert they cannot say no. Then its being not able to exercise.

Insurance has to have a cash in value. Also, if supplied by an employer it does not need to be cashed in. That cash in can go towards a prepaid funeral.
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KAWW58 Jun 2021
Thank you JoAnn. I do live with them now. I know elder law and medicaid rules which she isnt on yet. Im not selling anything to fix up my home, not sure where that came in.
She's immobile on her own period. She's in the hospital rehab now but has only two weeks left on insurance. Doc wants her in nursing home full time. She refuses, hates it there. Because she's 400lbs we cant help her in a bed or out. So she lives in a recliner when home. Because she is young, I was wondering if she went in to NH lost weight, got mobile, could she get out? Of course they will take her pay and no sis cant live on her own. Thats why I'm here but theyve forgotten. I will buy my own place soon as I dont think sis cousin can deny her help or care. She'll continue until she has a heart attack or injury caring for her.
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Are either of these unfortunate ladies interested in getting well?

Because based on what you’ve described, it sounds as though the obesity and diabetes management are major hindrances to their ability to improve their circumstances, and unless they have a sense that they WANT to get well, or at least get BETTER than they are now,

Obesity is a multifaceted tragedy. Psychological counseling may be the only way to approach it at this point, but unless Cousin is even slightly open to changing herself and her circumstances, it would seem that based on safety and her physical condition, residential care should be considered a permanent solution.
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She has been quite successful as a Doctor of Education but never took control of her weight. Its a tough decision to live in a home but I dont see she has a choice any longer.
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I lost 110 pounds at age 69 and have kept all of it off for 8 years.

It can be done.
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