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Hi,



I am trying to find out information for my husband and his parents and he had a couple financial questions. His parents are currently dealing with health problems with his mom. Her care is too much for her husband to handle alone anymore and they want to get her into an in home facility.



1) She has a separate credit card from him - in her name only. He said he's been setting aside money to pay off her debts when she passes. Does her credit card debt pass to him if it is not in his name nor is he an authorized user?



2) If it doesn't, I would assume the bank can try to collect her owed debt from her house, which is in both their names. I assume that this would only happen at the time of her husband's death. Would removing her from the deed to the house have any benefit here?



3) Additionally, they are talking about divorce in order to pay for her care. Seems like together, they make too much for her to get medicaid along with long term care. How do they pay for a live in facility that they can't afford? Her husband is against a reverse mortgage cause he said once it's purchased back, they will kick him out of the home.



4) Also, he has VA benefits. Are there any benefits that pay for a spouses long term care?



Thanks so much!

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I would speak to an elder attorney in your region to get the correct information.

Concerning the house, her name is on the deed. They are married. Do they live in a community property state?

Concerning the credit cards. The card is in her name and she is the responsible party for paying it.

I would check with the VA about spousal support. There is aid available for certain things. They can both be buried in a VA cemetery. They may be able to live in a VA skilled nursing home.

Talk with an attorney about if a divorce will help this situation in any way.

I know elderly people who refused to marry because they would have their benefits reduced. It’s sad because they would like to marry.

Certain laws should be changed to help the elderly and not hinder them.

Best wishes to you.
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ADianeA Jun 2023
Thanks so much! It is sad. This is an issue in the social security disability realm as well.

Ftr, they live in a non-communal property state.
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They need to see an Elder Law attorney.

Www.bogleheads.org is a good place to ask finance questions.

The credit car question is very much dependent whether they live in a community property state.

A good Elder Law attorney will be able to explain how they can manage tgeircassets so that tge "Community Spouse" can afford to live.
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In most states Medicaid only pays for LTC, not AL or MC. LTC needs to be assessed by a doctor as medically necessary (ie, someone is bed-bound, or has a profound or terminal illness like late-stage Parkinsons or cancer, kidney failure, etc). Rules about Medicaid vary by state. In most states, the financial "look-back" period on the application is 5 years. So, how her affairs are managed now will matter.

It's best to make sure all her legal ducks are in a row: is someone her DPoA? Does she have an Advance Healthcare Directive? An executor appointed for her Last Will? Pre-need Guardianship? Etc. If not, they should probably see an elder law attorney or estate planner or Medicaid Planner for her state before seeing a divorce attorney.
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These questions are exceptionally complex and they involve legal issues.
You would not come to us here on the forum to diagnose what is causing severe pain, and you should not come to us to answer complex legal/financial questions.
Our giving you the wrong answer is dangerous and our giving you varying answers adds to your confusion.

Before you even think about removing someone's name from a deed you need to speak to an attorney.

Just to show you how complex the whole credit card payment question can be, Handel on the Law spent about 15 minutes on it last week with a questioner. And then admitted he didn't know the answer.

The VA will answer questions regarding the VA.

As to divorce versus division of assets, there can be SERIOUS and DIRE repercussions with EITHER action.

Do see an attorney. SO worth one hour of time.
Wish you the best of luck.
I can hope some legal EXPERT answers you here, but if not, see that attorney. Sure do wish you the best. Start a list of questions today.
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The only thing I can say is my mother is also in dire straights with money and a spending problem (my dad is deceased) and my banker said avoid a reverse mortgage at all costs.

You do need professional advice. This is above our pay grade. 🙃
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