Follow
Share

I love this forum. It has helped me through the past five years while caring for my mom.
My mom just passed three months ago and I need some advice on how to move on after having to settle my mom's estate.
She lived in Philadelphia all her life but after a major surgery we asked her to move with my husband and I in Texas.
My sister and brother was all for it!! We knew my mom was pushing herself to where a bad accident could happen if she continue to live without planning for long term care either in her home or somewhere else. My mom was strong minded and always waited until the last minute to decide on what she wanted and how she wanted it. Even with her meals!
So we ended up discussing with my mom to come to Texas right out of rehab and stay until her arm got better. Doctors told us that her arm should be better within the year. We left it up to our mom to decide but…. I told my sister, she would have to talk to her about what she can and cannot do! We didn’t want our mom to go into a home. My brother could help with meals, shopping and cleaning. It didn’t end up that way though. My mom didn’t feel comfortable with him living with her and she called me after I returned to Texas to prepare for her visit to tell me she changed her mind. My sister was upset but felt she had no choice. My sister had no car and had to crack the bus everyday or send her husband to make sure my mom had meals three times a day!
So, things got tense and my sister ended up asking my mom after three months, when was she going to visit Texas?! My mom then called me to say she will come if we still want her to. I was unsure but wanted my mom to have the best I could give her. My house is setup where she was on one side of the house with her own bathroom and two rooms were fixed up just for her. A lounge room and her bedroom. We bought new tv’s a recliner and my husband even framed a picture of my mom from years ago. One of her favorite pictures. Those first three years was so hard for me! And I know it took her so long to adjust. I had to manage, monthly doctors appointments, medications, meals, cleaning and entertainment! She didn’t always get along with my husband either.
The end result was…. my sister taking out all her money and making decisions on how much each of us got along with, how much she spent on my moms repast. I’m the oldest and my mom trusted me to help her with her banking. She had a Will that I ended up putting through probate. My sister, did a 360 turn and brought up every hurt she had ever felt and turned it all on me and some on my brother. She has called my husbands family member to try and turn them against me. She has said hurtful things about my husband and when she found out I got a lawyer for private she left me horrible messages. We did have some hard times but I confided in my sister and though even with me being upset with what my mom didn’t like or was confused about, my sister and I could work it out knowing we would always do the right thing for our mom.
Now here’s my question. By law, I have to distribute my mom's assets. Jewelry to be exact. She moved to Texas with very little and my sister took over cleaning out her house and getting rid of what she felt needed to go. My mom gave her house to my sister's daughter. Two years ago, my mom wrote out who she wanted her jewelry and special nicknacks to go to. One of her rings she willed to me but my sister wants it. What should I do? Send it to her? Or keep it? My mom felt she doesn’t deserve it but I now know my mom never told her she was giving it to me. What should I do?😢

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
If your Mom Willed the ring to you, its yours. Mom wanted you to have it. Your sisters actions would keep me from giving it to her, too. But, do you really want it? If so, keep it then. If it seems to mean more to her than you, then give it to her.

Is it worth a lot? Because giving it to her might mean its a gift and then you pay taxes on it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Mom wanted you to have that particular ring.
If it does not mean anything to you, or you do not like it it is yours to do with what you want. If you want to give it to your sister do so. Maybe trade her for something that you wanted that is of comparable value. (or forget value in this case)
Or if you do not want your sister to have it and you have a son or daughter that you want to hold on to it for then keep it.
Or, again it is your ring you can sell it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I'm so sorry about your mom
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Keep the ring.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If you don’t want it, give yourself time to be sure and refuse being rushed. Most of have been there, and being torn by what Mom wanted and family- take your time.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My daughter wanted my mother's wedding band after she died. I said no, sorry, I'm keeping it and wearing it. I did offer her some other jewelry items of mom's for her to pick from, which she did.

That's what I suggest you tell your sister: No, I'm keeping mom's ring, she wanted me to have it and wear it. Offer her a choice of some other things of your mom's instead.

My condolences over the loss of your dear mother.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Thank you everyone for your help. My mom wrote everything out.
And I love the ring. She does have another one I can send to my sister.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sorry for all the type O’s. So much has gone on in such a short time.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter